Happy place

Well on the train again...getting quite used to this. The boss is in the office today, will be interesting. A good weekend....still missing stevo heaps..so glad he is home on Wednesday. Kids were all pretty good on the weekend. More helpful than usual. I got up this morning to a swept and washed kitchen floor.....MJ is a star. Did so much washing over the weekend, only Stefs to go...eww, but at least I feel as if Im making progress around the place. Ive got a pile of washing 4 feet by 10 feet in the lounge to fold up. Liz starts on Thursday so that will take a bit of the pressure of me to manage it on my own. When you look at it, considering we have Stef who is severely autistic, and Brent who is somewhat.......we cope pretty damn well withour little lot....yeah sometimes its challenging, but we get through. I sometimes look at my friends who perhaps dont have the same sort of get up and go as I do, and hear them complain about not having a life, or things not being as they want.......thing Ive learnt about myself in all of this autism crap is nothing is ever impossible, its been taken out of my dictionary, Can't is also a shit word, difficult and hard, all words which I try to take out of my life. They are so negative, and suck you into thinkng that life will never change and will never be any better. I know Im an eternal optimist, but I also believe that if you arent happy, you do everything you can to change it.....Life isnt handed to anyone on a plate, so you have to live with intention to get anywhere. I felt like saying to my friend last night........you wanna swap? but then I wouldnt swap my life for anything in the world. I have a loving husband, good kids, travel, and work to keep me occupied. I dont have time to ever felel bored, Ive always got something to think about, to plan to dream and to love....isnt that what life is always about!!!

New beginnings

Well, a long time since I wrote my blog, but anyway, here goes. Today I start my first day of a new job....scary, exciting, who knows what the future brings. I'm past predicting what will be with this sort of stuff. Who knows what a boss will be like to work with until you actually get to know them. I know expectations will be high, and I need to be as organised as I can be. Catching the train will be good. 4 hours a week sitting on a train instead of driving. Its relaxing really, oh and time to ponder what to do next in my life. At times I just dont get the chance to work out where Im going next. I look at our life and yeah, its crazy busy, but the kids are great really. I forget sometimes the older two are 19 and 16 really. Left Melinda Jack and Stef at the playground this morning waiting for the bus time. It was hard leaving them, scary. They will be ok for the 10 minutes or so extra they had to wait, but its a lot of responsibility on a young head. Love Melinda to bits! Thank goodness its only on the days when Steve isnt home that this will happen. I have most stuff sorted now. Niki from the bus will take stef home on the days I work, and Liz will do the cleaning a couple of days a week. That will take the strain off me, and allow me the time to be just a mum, and working rather than a workaholic. See what the next 12 months brings I guess.... Steve is in India, at the cricket. Im so glad he takes this time for himself now...it fills his cup, gives him good stuff to look forward to and gives him lots to talk about. So important to take time for yourself! Speaking of which, not sure what I am doing next on the travel front. I guess I will hear from the Churchill foundations soon as to whether I made it to interview stage. Im not game to look at personal travel until I know whats happening. It would be so cool to have my trip to the UK and USA paid for, and extra supports in place at home. I have so much to do on my proposal of an autism farm......still too many ideas floating around in my head and it would be great to be able to do them all. I just want a better place for these guys...its not rocket science to produce a nurturing environment where they can grow instead of isolate. Huge dreams baby!! Steve wants me to go with him to South Africa in March for the cricket tour.....Im not sure......I have so much else I want to do. Brent is currently not working or studying. He is becoming what I always feared....a shut in. I know I have to keep fighting for him, but now he is an adult it is so damned hard. I no longer have any authority over him, and he knows it. But hey, he eats our food, sleeps under our roof so he really needs to contribute. Melinda is doing year 12, at the tender age of 16. Its a little scary pushing her onwards, but she is handling it and is probably the happiest that Ive ever seen her. She fits in, has more friends than ever and is ok with the work. Oh and she adores her chinese tutor. She is in a happy place and can see a great future ahead of her. Stef is now 14, nearly 15. She is taller than I am. Still non verbal, and I still live in hope.....always hope baby....never ever give up!! She is pretty settled, behaviourally great which is awesome. She still has trouble sleeping and you can hear her rattle around in her room at 3am.....it keeps Melinda awake a bit. Poor MJ. Melinda really deserves special consideration on her marks for the shit she has to put up with in our house.....Honestly, I feel for her, but there isnt a damn thing we can do about it. Melinda won't change bedrooms, and we cant force stef to sleep. its just the way it is. Jack has started secondary school..lots of change, but he has managed the changes awesomely. The teachers have been great with sending emails and letting me know of any problems. Jack has a new Ipad and he is rapt with that. now to keep stef from snaffling it at times. This weekend is a long one...labour day holiday. Pity steve isnt home so we could go away. Weather has been warm for about a week...constant 30-35 degrees and will be until next thursday lol, change just as he gets home. I have a huge weekend planned, cleaning cleaning and more cleaning and organising my shit so I can cope with working more hours. I must get Jack more pants and shirts for school,. Planning on doing some sewing so that I have more clothes that Im happy to go to work in. hmm, must hit the beach with stef too and head for a beer with bros. Speaking of Bros, He was bitten by a white tail spider about 2 years ago....huge amounts of pain since, and has been told by neurologists etc that the nerves in his leg were dead and that he was likely to lose his leg. They have had him on every pain killer imaginable..almost addicted to them all, and the amounts they were using were enough to kill an elephant. Well good news, he has been having treatment by the top Chinese medicine guy in Melbourne, at $700 a pop.......and guess what, its improving dramatically....you can see the pink color coming back into his leg where it was a grey yuky color before. The skin used to dent in when you pushed on it, and it would stay like that previously. Now it comes back out. He is about 70% through his program, and really needs another 3 months of it....but he says he wants to go back to perth and travel back fortnightly. He needs to see this through if he ever wants to work again...its working!! He said his pain is now at about a 2 most of the time where previously it was an 8......so pleased for him. Anyway, just about to Spencer street........Riding to the top of the wave of change....we can do this!!! Well, on the way home again....early mark.....they are stoked as I can do most of what they want with ease. I think they are still pinching themselves that they found me!! They are stoked. I know the system pretty well.....and having dealt with wines and reps and all that before they are over the moon. Back in on Tuesday! Sue was doing a happy dance....absolutely stoked that now its my baby and she knows I can do it and do it well. Long weekend this weekend.....a weekend busy with cleaning the house up, having a big throw out, and probably making some new clothes for work. Its 3 days of not having to get up early, but also spending time with the kids...Mj looked so scared with me leaving stef with her at the car park this morning, poor kid, she will be so glad that I can catch the later train and get to work on time. Its really only while steve is away, in the other times we can share it out..... Missing Stevo heaps, life really isnt the same without him in it. Its like im missing my arm or something...just feel a bit lost. Working in south yarra is funny,you can see the rich bitches, but also lots of tradies, lmao one almost ran up the back of a porche in his van this morning....lol, too busy checking out the redhead. lmao.....so funny. Im not used to that.....its not as if im dressed provocatively or anything..very conservative, but I do like my heels!!