Feeling a bit rushed at the moment!

Life is just so busy right now. Slow down the bus, I feel motion sick. Its always busy in this house....keeping up to 4 kids is pretty busy, but throw in the autism factor and honestly it can get crazy here.
Melinda's school shoes broke.....and do you think I could get a pair her size close by...no, I have to go into town for them. It sucks that the shoes are just fine, except for the stupid buckle.
Of course I always have washing and dishes to do...have a 5 foot high pile to fold and 4 loads to hang out this morning before work..and two loads of dishes to go through the dishwasher......all before 8am.
This evening I have two meetings..both at the same time, both compulsary.....one for Brent on planning and homework for year 12....and the other is for Jack regarding Netbook lease. Might ring up the primary school and arrange an alternative for that one. Its easier as I know the teacher running it, and the school knows me well enough to understand my time pressures.
Work is very busy...time flies so fast, but thats a good thing. Always a lot to do to keep up.
Anyway, on to the next load of washing......I just need to catch up, just a little. I think its a bit tougher when Steve is not home...even just the dishes occasionally is enough to help me keep up. When he is away, its all up to me.

Plans for the day..

Work today! I love it, and look forward to going to work each week. I think I have finally struck a work/life balance that suits us. Two days gives me the social contact, the mind challenge and the money for extras. Any more becomes too stressful to keep up.
Already done 1 load of washing, one load currently washing and kitchen cleaned up. Just waking up the very tired kids. We went swimming after school, which wore them out. Stef always sleeps like a bomb after swimming. She spends the whole time in the deep end, and rarely touches the sides. She treads water so well and floats around.
The chooks had an altercation with the cat over the back fence...lets just say, the chooks won. They all flew at it with claws out. Our cat has given up after being attacked by them....and now just sits in the yard with them.
Today I will take some pictures out of my office window. The view over the valley is just so peaceful.....its something I really appreciate...serenity and peace. It revives my soul.
Anyways, on with the day...time to get everybody moving.

Getting there!

Gradually getting the house under control again, room by room. Its hard to catch up after holidays in this place. I always have a lot of washing. Probably 4 times more than an average sort of family, so when we throw in a huge pile after being on holidays...it tips the balance over. It takes a fair bit to catch up.
Had to visit my mum yesterday...she thought that the weeds that have come up mysteriously in her garden was marjuana.....it wasnt. But it was good to catch up with my mum. I am going to try to get to see her at least once a week. Its one of my new years resolutions, to spend more time with my mum. She turned 79 last week....time is ticking and who knows what the future brings. The last thing I want is to regret not spending the time with her now. She is very fit and quite healthy, very active and very with it.
Steve is in China and I didnt hear from him yesterday except for one SMS...must be busy!
The kids are ok. Brent is being the usual teenage pain in the ass...won't go to bed, then won't get up in the morning...arguing about doing homework etc etc...not sure why he thinks that everything changes when dad isnt around and that he rules the roost.
Anyways, time to get moving...designed some clothes yesterday...now to draw up the patterns.

St Kilda Festival-out and about

We had a huge throw out of things on Saturday....2 garbage bins full from Stefs room. We threw out most of her baby toys, lots and lots of broken books and just crap from her room. It was so gross. Felt good though to finally have her room a little organised. Tomorrow I will go to the opshop and see if I can pick up a tv stand for her tv and dvd player.
Saturday night, we had respite care. We went out to Acland Street in St kilda and had a really nice meal. Melbourne really has so many great places to go to, lots of atmosphere and great food. Lots of talking which was wonderful and then went to the Esplanade hotel to catch some music. Its so nice to spend time together as a couple. We are the glue that keeps this family just ticking along and with all our troubles, the glue sometimes gets a bit stretched. Taking time out together makes the glue like concrete. Everything just seems so much easier when our relationship is right. We got home at 1am, and Steve was up at 5am to go to China. I was so hoping that he wasnt going, he really was so sick. The doctor gave him the ok on Friday to fly, so off he went. Doesnt stop me worrying about him though.
Yesterday I took the youngest three and Ronan (Jacks friend) to the St Kilda festival. We caught the train up from Lara, and then tram to St Kilda. It really amazes me how well Stef copes with public transport now. She gets on and off them like she has been doing it forever. I guess though she has been doing it forever or at least as long as she has been able to walk. All the journeys we have taken over the years has trained her. The crowds at the festival were huge.....lots of people, lots of noise and she coped with it all. The kids had a great time on jumping castles, slides and bungee trampolines. Stef was keen to have a go on a few things, but baulked once the reality set in. She wanted to go on this blow up shark slide....I finally convinced the guy to allow her to have a go, she got right to the steps, but then because the stair case was covered in, just couldnt quite overcome her fears. Poor kid, if only I could take those fears away. Then, she wanted a go at the bungee trampoline...alas, same thing happened. The guy there was so patient and kind with her.....we tried so hard to get her relaxed, but again, when he went to put the bungee cords on to her harness (we actually got the harness on), she just freaked. Pity....I think she would have loved it. Thems the breaks...maybe next time we will get that one step further. We still have to try though and keep on trying. Had I given up on her when we used to go to the pool, and she used to freak out, she never ever would have been able to swim. Now she swims like a fish...and its one thing she loves to do. We just have to keep trying.
Well, its Monday morning....lots to do. Washing, cleaning up, and then Im going to sit down and design this afternoon. I am going to make Stef some clothes, and some heat bags. I'm also going to work on some UFO's.unfinished business thats hanging over my head.

Throwing out time!

We have a mini skip arriving this morning...time for a damned good clean up and throw out!~So many big things to throw out that a trailer just wouldnt do it.
Steve is improving healthwise. Asthma really just sucks. I think it frightens me a bit more than it used to. After having a cold, and asthma and going downhill to the point of respiratory shutdown with in a couple of hours a few years ago scared me so much. Definitely giving up smoking again very soon.
Went to the funeral yesterday...very sad. It seems so unfair that she was such a beautiful girl...a good christian woman..never swore, rarely drank, never smoked...and yet she was taken when so many bastards remain alive. It just doesnt seem right somehow. It was the longest service I have ever been to...an hour and a half! So many spoke for her...her husband Tony and her daughter Jaqui, did amazing jobs..really amazing. She was just an amzing woman who never had a bad word about anyone.
Work was great. It was a difficult pay day, lots of changes and with the interuptions I was struggling a bit....but it got done. Thanks to Stevo for stepping in to help with the kids even though you were sick. You are awesome!
Anyway, on with getting some housework done before I have to get the kids up. Lots to do today.

A good boss!

It's amazing what a difference having a good boss makes. Yesterday I asked for time off today to go to the funeral of my friend..boss said, no worries, do what you need to do. Yes I know that I would never leave my job undone, that I would make up for it to get it done (like going in until 6pm last night), but its nice that they know that I will get it done regardless. Makes such a difference.
It was such a busy day at work yesterday..flat out and time just seemed to fly. I will go in early today as well so that I can get the pays pretty much done before I leave at 10.30.
I hate funerals, but I feel I need to go. When Jack asked why I would go to it, I said to let the family know that we care, to pay respects to the beautiful woman she was and to say goodbye. I think he gets it. He has more empathy than most kids with autism, certainly a lot more than Brent has. I still think he is far more ADHD than aspergers.
Steve is still sick with Asthma....he is supposed to be flying out to China on Monday, but really I don't think he is going to make it. It would be really unwise to travel the way he is. I guess a doctors visit on Friday will either say yes or no, but I wouldnt.
Kids are all settling into school well. Brent is working for once...woohoo. He gets it, he really gets it. Jack is happy with his teacher. Miss Olsten is a lovely lady who taught Stef last year. She gets the whole disability bit. Also having known her, it makes communication very easy and free. I think that is the true key...having enough of a relationship with teachers and aides to really have an easy conversation. It also means they will come to you quickly if there are problems. It makes a huge difference.
I've got so much to do at the moment, but you know, I am getting better at doing whats important first. The prioritisation of things has always been an issue for me, and then the following through. I really think I am improving in this.
Oh and I'm getting my bucketlist together....the things I really want to do. I really want to get to spain..Steve is going in May for work....maybe if I save heaps between now and then I may get there too....if not, I will save so we can both go.
Anyways, off to doing some washing and dishes before work.

Contemplation!

I lost a dear friend on Friday. A huge battle with breast cancer. Its sad, she leaves behind 3 beautiful girls and a devastated husband. She was always someone who was concerened about others. Always asked on the infrequent catch ups we had how I was coping and what was happening in my life. Anyway, the last catch up we had was a quick coffee when we ran into each other in November. Obviously she was struggling to breathe, but she brushed that aside. The thing that struck me most about our last conversation is that she said that for the first time, I actually accepted my lot in life and that I was making the most of the cards that I have been given. Alos was the realisation that I am not the one living with the disability, that is not my journey. My journey is to help them be the best that they can be..the rest of the journey is theirs to take.
On contemplation of this last conversation this week..I had the realisation that i really need to live my life...yes, I will be always looking at the differences between my life and those with "normal" kids, but ultimately I need to live my life not just struggle on and live for caring for my kids. Who knows how much time we have left...nothing is ever guaranteed hey, so I need to live with more intention. Doing the things that are important for me as well as deal with the issues that come my way. So now to find the things that are important for me....whats my bucketlist...what are my true goals and dreams. I know what my dreams for my kids are, but what are mine.