We had a good one....not without some issues, but hey, thats expected with an autistic child like Stef.
Stef has a huge phobia of public toilets......you cannot get her in one for love nor money, not even chocolate! Anyways, we got to the motel room after our 4 hour drive, got ready to go to the festival, and thinking it would be a while before she could go, asked her to go to the toilet in the motel room. Do you think we could get her in there........NO WAY! I ended up putting a nappy on her (which she hates) and off we went. The festival was good fun...the music this year was an Elvis impersonator, (not particularly my cup of tea) and then Hot Pink..she was good. Stef totally enjoyed that bit..moshing away....she really loves music, and likes Pink as I have her albums. We got back to the hotel room, put a new nappy on her and put her to bed, we didnt even try to get her in the toilet. When we got up and was close to getting ready to leave.....she just marched in and went...woohoo, the fact that she overcame her fear was just awesome. We think she also went in there in the night as she was dry when she got up. Sometimes we just cant think why these things terrify her so much. We know that something happened at school one day, as her behaviour completely changed over night. Maybe she was locked in one.....hopefully nothing more than that, but without a voice, how can she ever tell us what went on.
We also picked up a heap of our stuff from our friends' place. Someone bought our huge old van which was stored down there..and the entire contents was emptied into their garage. A full trailer load of stuff, and still we left things down there that just didnt fit. We will buy a new van for next year's holidays. Oh and we had a blowout on the trailer on the way home......um more like a catestrophic failure of an extremely old worn out tyre.
Got home around 5, and Ive made a batch of biscuits for school lunches and a quiche for Steve and my lunches...gotta love our chookies!!!
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
Such a busy day yesterday
I was so busy at work yesterday...didnt get it all done which was disappointing but I knew that was the case anyway. Going in today to finish and catch up. I hate leaving unfinished business and mess. I really am a perfectionist in disguise.
I have a huge amount of washing to get done. Trying to put myself in a better position for next week than I was this week. This week was crazy....constantly having to check that the kids had clean clothes to wear the next day. Total chaos rules.
This weekend we have to go down to Heywood...to pick up the contents of our caravan from a friends' shed and there is a festival down there. Wood Wine and Roses. We went last year, but it was in better circumstances as this friends marriage has crumbled since. Stef will love the music and I'll have a couple of wines and relax anyway.
Its so nice to not have any ongoing commitments on weekends now. Means that we relax as a family more and more likely to do stuff on a Sunday together.
Im really getting on to an organisation site now, cozicentral.com.......its great. It has a calendar which I can assign to each member of the family, even able to put Brent's schoolwork tasks in so that I know what he should be up to by the end of each week. Oh and it has lists......so instead of writing it down, I just type it in and cross it off....perfect for the ADHD me. I just wish that I could use it as it is in the states...there it connects to the mobile....you can send the grocery list to your phone via sms.
Anyway, off to hang out my second load of washing for the morning....and its not even 6.30am.
JUST KEEP SWIMMING, JUST KEEP SWIMMING, JUST KEEP SWIMMING!!
I have a huge amount of washing to get done. Trying to put myself in a better position for next week than I was this week. This week was crazy....constantly having to check that the kids had clean clothes to wear the next day. Total chaos rules.
This weekend we have to go down to Heywood...to pick up the contents of our caravan from a friends' shed and there is a festival down there. Wood Wine and Roses. We went last year, but it was in better circumstances as this friends marriage has crumbled since. Stef will love the music and I'll have a couple of wines and relax anyway.
Its so nice to not have any ongoing commitments on weekends now. Means that we relax as a family more and more likely to do stuff on a Sunday together.
Im really getting on to an organisation site now, cozicentral.com.......its great. It has a calendar which I can assign to each member of the family, even able to put Brent's schoolwork tasks in so that I know what he should be up to by the end of each week. Oh and it has lists......so instead of writing it down, I just type it in and cross it off....perfect for the ADHD me. I just wish that I could use it as it is in the states...there it connects to the mobile....you can send the grocery list to your phone via sms.
Anyway, off to hang out my second load of washing for the morning....and its not even 6.30am.
JUST KEEP SWIMMING, JUST KEEP SWIMMING, JUST KEEP SWIMMING!!
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Organisation!
OMG what I would give to be an organisational guru! Sometimes I am just hopeless, get over it!! I am so organised at work, its sickening....everything in its place, nothing left undone and so so organised. It's hard to believe I am the same person sometimes. I just wish I could transport that person into all the aspects of my life. I'm trying! I am finding a site cozicentral.com really useful. It gives me a great calender which I can put all the members of the family in and sends the weekly list to my email each week, to do lists, shopping lists etc. I am putting all Brent's SACs into it, so I am reminded where and what he should be doing.
Had a phonecall from Brent's school yesterday. They want an IQ assessment and specialists report so that we can get him computer access for exams. Ouch, thats difficult because he has not seen a doctor since 2001. After Stef was diagnosed, we found that the specialists really didnt have the answers, but were guessing. Stupid Psychologist said that what we were doing with Brent (we did the Sonrise program before it was a program) was going to give him major anxieties....well, he was so so wrong. We gradually exposed Brent to the things that used to give him anxieties more and more. Eventually he overcame them all. He is also very independent and able to catch public transport, be in crowds etc. But beauty is, Stef also was exposed to these things, and for a severely autistic child can cope with so much, like going to the Melbourne CBD, catching public transport, being in noisy places with lots of sensory inputs. She is a star. But hey, the doctors don't know everything about how the brain works. They make generalisations based on populations.....but every single autistic person is different...not one is the same, so don't generalise, do what is right for each person. the doctor is filling out the form for me as he remembers Brent (just) and will go by my recommendations and explanations of behaviours, muscle control etc. Hopefully it will be enough. Brent will fly in exams if he is allowed to type rather than handwrite. It takes so much concentration to write neatly that he really can't remember what he is writing and the next sentence. His writing is barely legible and any marker will struggle to understand it without decreasing his marks just for neatness. So unfair if this is the case as he is a highly articulate, clever boy if they can see past his prep level handwriting.
I have PSG meeting for Stef on Tuesday, so I am going through her past work from last year to work out what the best goals would be for her. Speech and speech facilitation will be a big one, as well as computer usage, personal hygiene etc. I am going into this one with very clear thoughts on how we can get the best possible outcome for her and will be pushing up the expectations of the school.
Getting the kids into a better routine of doing homework straight after school...even Brent is catching up. I do believe they are actually starting to get it.
Oh and I asked the boss for the time off I need for Spain...explained what I wanted to do....no dramas there...he thinks its great that I am planning to do something that is on my wishlist in life.
We had a huge conversation in lunch yesterday about the mundane shit that people complain about especially women at the school gate. Michael said something really interesting in that I just don't complain. I see complaining as a totally useless exercise.....it just doesnt help me or the kids. I'm also a very practical person.....change nothing and nothing changes is my motto....if I'm not happy, its really up to me to make the changes necessary. I also don't panic that much.
Anyway, on with my busy day....its going to be huge!
Had a phonecall from Brent's school yesterday. They want an IQ assessment and specialists report so that we can get him computer access for exams. Ouch, thats difficult because he has not seen a doctor since 2001. After Stef was diagnosed, we found that the specialists really didnt have the answers, but were guessing. Stupid Psychologist said that what we were doing with Brent (we did the Sonrise program before it was a program) was going to give him major anxieties....well, he was so so wrong. We gradually exposed Brent to the things that used to give him anxieties more and more. Eventually he overcame them all. He is also very independent and able to catch public transport, be in crowds etc. But beauty is, Stef also was exposed to these things, and for a severely autistic child can cope with so much, like going to the Melbourne CBD, catching public transport, being in noisy places with lots of sensory inputs. She is a star. But hey, the doctors don't know everything about how the brain works. They make generalisations based on populations.....but every single autistic person is different...not one is the same, so don't generalise, do what is right for each person. the doctor is filling out the form for me as he remembers Brent (just) and will go by my recommendations and explanations of behaviours, muscle control etc. Hopefully it will be enough. Brent will fly in exams if he is allowed to type rather than handwrite. It takes so much concentration to write neatly that he really can't remember what he is writing and the next sentence. His writing is barely legible and any marker will struggle to understand it without decreasing his marks just for neatness. So unfair if this is the case as he is a highly articulate, clever boy if they can see past his prep level handwriting.
I have PSG meeting for Stef on Tuesday, so I am going through her past work from last year to work out what the best goals would be for her. Speech and speech facilitation will be a big one, as well as computer usage, personal hygiene etc. I am going into this one with very clear thoughts on how we can get the best possible outcome for her and will be pushing up the expectations of the school.
Getting the kids into a better routine of doing homework straight after school...even Brent is catching up. I do believe they are actually starting to get it.
Oh and I asked the boss for the time off I need for Spain...explained what I wanted to do....no dramas there...he thinks its great that I am planning to do something that is on my wishlist in life.
We had a huge conversation in lunch yesterday about the mundane shit that people complain about especially women at the school gate. Michael said something really interesting in that I just don't complain. I see complaining as a totally useless exercise.....it just doesnt help me or the kids. I'm also a very practical person.....change nothing and nothing changes is my motto....if I'm not happy, its really up to me to make the changes necessary. I also don't panic that much.
Anyway, on with my busy day....its going to be huge!
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Work today!
A very busy couple of days at work this week. End of month and staff issues to sort out. The time will go quickly though.
Miracle of Miracles......all my kids did homework last night. Brent even did 3 hours of maths. I am so proud of him!!! I have banned computer use until 5pm for Jack, 7.30 for Brent and 6pm for Melinda. Homework is so difficult for these kids. Brent has it in his head that homework shouldnt exist..and that the teachers should just teach in class time. Sorry pal, you are now year 12...you need to do homework.
Was watching the devastating earthquake in NZ. I think I cried a bucket. Its just so awful. Dear friends lost their Brother in Law. It kindof makes me think though, you need to appreciate today and those around you, because who knows what tomorrow will bring.
Anyway, on with the day....lots to do..oh and Im cleaning up the front garden. Already its looking so much better!
Miracle of Miracles......all my kids did homework last night. Brent even did 3 hours of maths. I am so proud of him!!! I have banned computer use until 5pm for Jack, 7.30 for Brent and 6pm for Melinda. Homework is so difficult for these kids. Brent has it in his head that homework shouldnt exist..and that the teachers should just teach in class time. Sorry pal, you are now year 12...you need to do homework.
Was watching the devastating earthquake in NZ. I think I cried a bucket. Its just so awful. Dear friends lost their Brother in Law. It kindof makes me think though, you need to appreciate today and those around you, because who knows what tomorrow will bring.
Anyway, on with the day....lots to do..oh and Im cleaning up the front garden. Already its looking so much better!
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Vison boards, quitting a job and the way we put ourselves out for our kids!
I am making an awesome vision board! I went to spotlight yesterday..bought some bright green paint, some wooden carved words which I will paint today..I already had a huge canvas, so I have painted the background....Now its to finding pictures of things I envision for myself....I can't wait to have this on my wall to remind myself whats really important in life. Last time I made a vision board.....everything on it came true...yes, not by some miracle, but by reminding myself of what I wanted all the time, I worked towards it.
Yesterday I threw in one of my jobs.....its a relief!! I know I am far more content and organised only working 2 days a week....and it shows in the kids especially when I am stressed. Too, it gives me a lot more time for the truly creative side of my personality. I am one of the strange people who are both left and right brained..analytical and yet creative. I feel at odds with myself when I dont get the chance to indulge the creative side, it almost feels as if something is totally missing in my life.
Today, Melinda went off to school so happy. She paid me the ultimate compliment as a mum.....YOU ARE EPIC! They are having their school swimming sports today...and she was dressing up as Emma out of one of the animes she watches. We went op shopping on Saturday and found a few things, but was missing a vest and a bow. I drew up a pattern last night, and this morning made it out of a shirt we bought from the op-shop. I also made the bow this morning.....just as well I am a morning person as I was up by 4am. Also decorated the muffins that she made last night. She went off happily with her hair done beautifully (for once), dressed up in her costume with her great looking muffins.......a happy girl.
Oh and we sold our old caravan.....someone drove past it yesterday where we store it, went in and offered to buy it. The van is about 45 years old....a bloody heavy huge old thing and was just about stuffed inside. Anyway, the guy who bought it does them up...apparently she was a rare old thing. Steve is very relieved about getting a good price for it, cash in hand.....as we were planning on getting rid of it in the next year or so anyway. It was so heavy to tow. Now looking for something smaller.
Oh and I will have to get on to gtting my passport.....aiming to get to Spain in May with Steve. He is going on a conference, and Spain has always been on my bucket list. Fingers crossed I make it.
Oh and the electrician is coming to hopefully fix our spa today. Oh I miss that thing...I can't wait til its fixed!!
Yesterday I threw in one of my jobs.....its a relief!! I know I am far more content and organised only working 2 days a week....and it shows in the kids especially when I am stressed. Too, it gives me a lot more time for the truly creative side of my personality. I am one of the strange people who are both left and right brained..analytical and yet creative. I feel at odds with myself when I dont get the chance to indulge the creative side, it almost feels as if something is totally missing in my life.
Today, Melinda went off to school so happy. She paid me the ultimate compliment as a mum.....YOU ARE EPIC! They are having their school swimming sports today...and she was dressing up as Emma out of one of the animes she watches. We went op shopping on Saturday and found a few things, but was missing a vest and a bow. I drew up a pattern last night, and this morning made it out of a shirt we bought from the op-shop. I also made the bow this morning.....just as well I am a morning person as I was up by 4am. Also decorated the muffins that she made last night. She went off happily with her hair done beautifully (for once), dressed up in her costume with her great looking muffins.......a happy girl.
Oh and we sold our old caravan.....someone drove past it yesterday where we store it, went in and offered to buy it. The van is about 45 years old....a bloody heavy huge old thing and was just about stuffed inside. Anyway, the guy who bought it does them up...apparently she was a rare old thing. Steve is very relieved about getting a good price for it, cash in hand.....as we were planning on getting rid of it in the next year or so anyway. It was so heavy to tow. Now looking for something smaller.
Oh and I will have to get on to gtting my passport.....aiming to get to Spain in May with Steve. He is going on a conference, and Spain has always been on my bucket list. Fingers crossed I make it.
Oh and the electrician is coming to hopefully fix our spa today. Oh I miss that thing...I can't wait til its fixed!!
Monday, February 21, 2011
Bucket lists, dreams and goals!
I have been drifting along for a while now....I realise its because my goals dreams and bucket lists really arent relevant to what I really want in life right now. Also that Im not feeling particularly creative. I think the biggest cause is the chaos that reigns supreme here. Im reactive rather than proactive. So my first task is to work like crazy around the house to get it into top shape...to a place where I am happy. Hey its not that bad...the floors are pretty clean, just that every other surface has clutter....like the odd socks that accumulate.....oh and there is always yukky washing in the laundry. The next two weeks I am going to chose a hotspot each day and gradually clean them off. The next thing after that is to make a list of the changes I want to make...ie get rid of the furniture that I hate and perhaps look through op shops....maybe I can find new stuff without huge expense.
After spending time at a friends place helping out yesterday...Yes, I did go to the working bee....I realise that sometimes I just have to put myself out for other people....Its good for my soul to do things for others. So....I couldnt ask for help myself, but nor can I begrudge other people for having the guts to do so. I know I can do it for myself because I break tasks down to 15 minute blocks...and gradually they get done. Another thing I realised yesterday is just how hard and effectively I have fought for my kids. We have achieved what others have not, and I fight like mad at every injustice.
Anyway, time for a new week...a pretty busy one...school council meeting tonight, meetings at barwon valley school, work of course will be flat out as its end of month already but most of all, creating a peaceful home for my beautiful husband and kids.
When Steve is away, I just feel the place falls apart...he is always doing little things to keep me up to date..the odd load of washing, clean up of the kitchen, adjudication in kids arguments, computer guru. He really is wonderful! I really appreciate everything that he does and know he helps whenever he can. I definitely made a good choice!~!
After spending time at a friends place helping out yesterday...Yes, I did go to the working bee....I realise that sometimes I just have to put myself out for other people....Its good for my soul to do things for others. So....I couldnt ask for help myself, but nor can I begrudge other people for having the guts to do so. I know I can do it for myself because I break tasks down to 15 minute blocks...and gradually they get done. Another thing I realised yesterday is just how hard and effectively I have fought for my kids. We have achieved what others have not, and I fight like mad at every injustice.
Anyway, time for a new week...a pretty busy one...school council meeting tonight, meetings at barwon valley school, work of course will be flat out as its end of month already but most of all, creating a peaceful home for my beautiful husband and kids.
When Steve is away, I just feel the place falls apart...he is always doing little things to keep me up to date..the odd load of washing, clean up of the kitchen, adjudication in kids arguments, computer guru. He really is wonderful! I really appreciate everything that he does and know he helps whenever he can. I definitely made a good choice!~!
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Legacies from childhood -good and bad
I realised yesterday, one of the huge legacies I had from childhood is my independent streak. I never ask for help...I just can't and even when help is given, I really don't know how to be gracious about accepting it.
My realisation came about when a friend organised a "secret" working bee at her house...for herself. Thinking it was a friend who organised it as she is going through a hard time, I put my hand up. In some ways though, now I have found out that she organised it for herself I changed my mind. I'd have to be half dead and totally helpless to ask for my friends to do that for me. Hey we could all do with a hand occasionally, especially with special needs kids, but to come out and ask for it...no.
I even find it hard to go to the charities for respite care...even though the government gives them the money to provide it....I really need to start changing my thinking. Stef needs all the help she can get!!
My realisation came about when a friend organised a "secret" working bee at her house...for herself. Thinking it was a friend who organised it as she is going through a hard time, I put my hand up. In some ways though, now I have found out that she organised it for herself I changed my mind. I'd have to be half dead and totally helpless to ask for my friends to do that for me. Hey we could all do with a hand occasionally, especially with special needs kids, but to come out and ask for it...no.
I even find it hard to go to the charities for respite care...even though the government gives them the money to provide it....I really need to start changing my thinking. Stef needs all the help she can get!!
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