Am I so different?

I had a shocking week....went into a real downward spiral about long term prospects. It really is quite scary this whole carer's bit.
It started with someone saying they didnt want the responsibility of looking after Stef while we were away. And it ended with me thinking OMG in 5 years time I will have not only the full time carers role of Stef, but maybe my inlaws as well.
Anyway, the upshot is, I have reached out to different organisations to help us, including residential respite care. Hopefully that will come about for this holiday, but also for future times. I have always shied away from residential care...have heard some major horror stories, but hey, I can't do this forever and I will always need breaks from the caring role at times. I realise too, that if it were one of my family who had a special needs child or adult, that I would be offering to help along the way, even so the family could have a meal or something. I wouldnt be sitting back in my selfish little world.
On Saturday night, we were on our way out, a car immediately in front of us crashed into the car in front of him, and then took off. We of course pulled over and helped the young kids in the car hit. I just couldnt believe the lack of care or the selfishness of the person who hit them. I also realised that there was no way I couldnt stop to make sure the kids were ok. They were shaken up, and the car was a bit of a mess but drivable for now, but I'm glad we stopped, even if it did make us really late.
Stef had a great time at the kids' disco. Loved the music the dancing and the lights. It was lovely to watch her smile on the dance floor having such a good time. Thanks to Sharon from the Autism treehouse for organising this. It comes as a bit of a shock to me, but Stef really is one of the most autistic kids in Geelong. I guess I just dont want to see her disability, but see the beautiful girl underneath it. I know I always try hard to focus on what she can do, not what she can't, so it comes as a bit of a shock when you realise just how much her autism affects her. I am proud of the fact that we are able to take her out and about....that we can do things as a family. A lot of people can't or won't. Thats why autism is just such a hidden away disability. We certainly get a lot of people who just stare...thats their problem not ours.
Anyway, I'm out of the spiral now...on with the job, and looking at ways to get around things rather than seeing the blocks sitting in our way. I can't wait to see the world!!