I realised today, that I have worked with these people a couple of days....and not once have I mentioned that I have a child with autism. I went to the greengrocer with my trainer today, and one of the young guys knows me from out this way. He asked how his beautiful Stephanie was going and how much he misses her antics and her smile. I said she had had a birthday and was now 12. Wow he said, and asked how her speech was going. I said, not really but she has her ways of letting us know what she wants. You know, the girl next to me didnt even comment about the conversation after we left. These people have no idea that I have kids with special needs and to be honest, I dont think they really care about anyone except themselves.
Melinda had a major lesson in self reliance yesterday. She forgot her bus money and so couldnt get on the bus to school. She came wandering back, and then said, Mum can you drive me. I said sorry girl, but you will have to catch the train. The look on her face was pure horror.....Oh no, I couldnt. I said, yes and you will. When I dropped the others off at school, I pushed her out of the car and said..off you go at which she slammed the door and went off in a huff (teenagers!!) She got home after school with tales of "strange people" on the train..and how scared she was and that she had to walk up the hill to school...and that she was late....duhh. It was a major lesson for her in being responsible for herself. She was supposed to get the application for her new Myki card organised months ago....she still hasnt. She is paying the price for that. I think self reliance is the biggest thing we have to teach our kids and responsibility for their own actions. In these days, we cloister our kids so much. We drive them to the school gate, we pick them up and they go virtually nowhere without us. I honestly think it isn't doing them any favors. My sister was wrapped in cotton wool. She didnt even have one night away from her mum until she was 19. She had no idea how to catch a train, a bus or a tram. On the other hand, I was given a lot of freedom. At 7 I was opening the door for myself to an empty house, at 9 I was catching a train to Stawell on my own....having to change trains at Ballarat and I would ring Nana from the station when I arrived. When I went to work in Melbourne, it was 2nd nature to me to catch trams and get my way around. Nothing phased me. I have over the years caught the train with the kids heaps of times, just so they know how and take them to Melbourne and give them a map and say get us to the Museum taking a tram. I was really pleased when Brent got separated from his group at a year 9 camp that he was able to negotiate his way around and back to the accommodation. He knew his way around!! The teachers were panicking but I said...he knows Melbourne, he will be ok and he was. He didnt panic either, just made his way to Carlton and got there on his own.
I think me working has been good for these kids. They are learning that they are responsible for their own stuff. ie, if the washing isnt in the laundry, it just doesnt get washed..bad luck. If you miss the bus, you have to catch the train, if you dont bring the note home, I cant chase it anymore, if they forget their hat (jack) they just dont play. It is time for the kids to step up to the plate, become more self reliant, and dont expect mum to be the fix all ills. It is a good thing and hopefully later on, when they realise that they can do it, they will thank me. I know I have thanked my mum over and over again for making me the self reliant individual that I am with a sense of can do.
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