Slept like an absolute log last night, even slept in until 6.30am. I have been waking up at 4am for ages and it was starting to show.
I cleaned out Melindas room yesterday. OMG a full wheelie bin of rubbish and half a recycling bin. Obviously I hadnt been in there a while. Gradually getting the house decluttered..one step at a time.
I'm starting to feel more creative too. Hanging out to get into the garden on the weekend and probably will find my chooks today hopefully. I'm working for a while today and then going to find the chook seller.
Brent has two more exams today, and then my beautiful boy has finished year 11. Hopefully he will pass them. Had you asked me when he was in Grade 2 if I thought this was even possible, I would have laughed at you. He has come an amazingly long way!! All that hard work is paying off. All I can say to families with kids like Brent was....keep trying and never never give up hope!
This Sunday we have respite care in the afternoon. We havent been using 4 hours of our respite care a month, so now have decided to use it all up by having the occasional Sunday arvo or Thursday night.
Anyway, on with the day. Jack is yelling to me from the kitchen like usual....bloody child should find his legs and come and find me.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Friday, November 12, 2010
Friday at last!
Why is it that at work I can be so damned organised yet in my private life, its all just shambles? I know....its because at work, I have a set amount of time for tasks, a priority list and a plan.
In my private life, there are lots of curve balls, a neverending list of high priority tasks and quite frankly never enough time. I'm slowly but surely removing the external committments....refocussing on the family.
Rainbow club is going to fall by the wayside. I just can't afford the 7 + hours a week it has taken. I leave it behind with a heavy heart as I can't see the current committee stepping up to the plate. The members are all pretty apathetic. Running a raffle was proof enough to me, that a lot of the families just arent prepared to put themselves out, even to sell 10 raffle tickets. Why do I work so hard for their benefit when really they obviously don't care. Its just not worth it any more.
I realise too, that I haven't spent any time in the last 18 months doing the things that I enjoy.....I just havent had the time. My poor sewing machine is covered in crap, dusty and neglected.
There is so much I want to do to help Stef..spending more time on lifeskills, teaching her how to cook, to clean up after herself, and personal hygiene, computer skills and of course speech.
Today being Friday and after last Friday being pure rest, and the committment to have every friday to myself has fallen by the wayside. Today I have to do a Finance committee meeting at the school, and then go to work at the accounting office, the pile of dishes on my sink thanks to the broken dishwasher, a pile of washing a mile high. Today I feel tired...stressed and just a bit depressed.
In my private life, there are lots of curve balls, a neverending list of high priority tasks and quite frankly never enough time. I'm slowly but surely removing the external committments....refocussing on the family.
Rainbow club is going to fall by the wayside. I just can't afford the 7 + hours a week it has taken. I leave it behind with a heavy heart as I can't see the current committee stepping up to the plate. The members are all pretty apathetic. Running a raffle was proof enough to me, that a lot of the families just arent prepared to put themselves out, even to sell 10 raffle tickets. Why do I work so hard for their benefit when really they obviously don't care. Its just not worth it any more.
I realise too, that I haven't spent any time in the last 18 months doing the things that I enjoy.....I just havent had the time. My poor sewing machine is covered in crap, dusty and neglected.
There is so much I want to do to help Stef..spending more time on lifeskills, teaching her how to cook, to clean up after herself, and personal hygiene, computer skills and of course speech.
Today being Friday and after last Friday being pure rest, and the committment to have every friday to myself has fallen by the wayside. Today I have to do a Finance committee meeting at the school, and then go to work at the accounting office, the pile of dishes on my sink thanks to the broken dishwasher, a pile of washing a mile high. Today I feel tired...stressed and just a bit depressed.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Still Chilled!
The after affects of our holiday are still being felt. I vowed that I would keep Friday's free of work to spend time on myself. This morning I am going for a swim (gotta keep up the exercise). My aim for this afternoon is to clean off my sewing machine table, get out a box of fabric and design something for either Stef or myself. I haven't touched my sewing machine in 18 months which really is so wrong.
I have 4 large boxes of fabricz!!!
Its time for me to become more selfish with my time....I need time to get this house to how I want it to be.....time to be creative....time to relax ....time to put into my relationships. Today I will also type up a resignation letter for Rainbow Club....its time for someone else to step up to the plate. I can no longer put in 250-300 hours per year into the organisation, not when no one else in the club is prepared to put themselves out. Recently we had a fundraiser...our major one for the year, and only 4 or 5 families did anything for it. Our committee is one where they turn up to meetings, forward and second things, and then don't do a bloody thing. I am just so bitter about it. Its time to move on!
Today I am also going to start on my Christmas preparation...plan it out, presents, find the left over cards and wrap from last year...write out a list of people who need cards and gifts etc. I promise myself that I will be almost organised by December 1.
I took Stef for a ride on her trike last night. She is improving with each time. Now its just how to get her to keep her feet straight on the pedal and to do up her helmet. At least this time she steered the bike as well and not banging into every fence. I am also going to be working pretty hard on her lifeskills. It scares me that next year she will be only at special school as they are basically pretty lazy and write the kids off as unteachable. They arent....they can learn anything, as long as there is the patience and care.
I am so hanging out for Summer!! I loved being so warm last weekend. I love swimming!
I have 4 large boxes of fabricz!!!
Its time for me to become more selfish with my time....I need time to get this house to how I want it to be.....time to be creative....time to relax ....time to put into my relationships. Today I will also type up a resignation letter for Rainbow Club....its time for someone else to step up to the plate. I can no longer put in 250-300 hours per year into the organisation, not when no one else in the club is prepared to put themselves out. Recently we had a fundraiser...our major one for the year, and only 4 or 5 families did anything for it. Our committee is one where they turn up to meetings, forward and second things, and then don't do a bloody thing. I am just so bitter about it. Its time to move on!
Today I am also going to start on my Christmas preparation...plan it out, presents, find the left over cards and wrap from last year...write out a list of people who need cards and gifts etc. I promise myself that I will be almost organised by December 1.
I took Stef for a ride on her trike last night. She is improving with each time. Now its just how to get her to keep her feet straight on the pedal and to do up her helmet. At least this time she steered the bike as well and not banging into every fence. I am also going to be working pretty hard on her lifeskills. It scares me that next year she will be only at special school as they are basically pretty lazy and write the kids off as unteachable. They arent....they can learn anything, as long as there is the patience and care.
I am so hanging out for Summer!! I loved being so warm last weekend. I love swimming!
Thursday, November 4, 2010
OH I am so unfit!!
I gave up doing Jenny Craig. After 12 months eating the same foods, I am so over it. I have decided to follow a pretty strict eating plan (CSIRO diet) and lift the activity level heaps. Swimming 3 days a week, and on the other days doing 10 minutes on the eliptical and 20 minutes on the Wiifit.
Yesterday was my first day. I swam over 500m (lost count at 20 laps), waded the pool for 15 minutes and did 6067 steps for the day. Lets just say, today I am a bit sore. Today I got on the elyptical for the first of my 5 minutes today. OMG, it was so hard. I am so unfit!!
I took Jack and Stef with me to the pool. They were both great! Stef hung around in the part of the pool which wasnt having swimming lessons while I did my laps. Jack was practicing his freestyle. I think by taking them 2 times a week, Stef may lose some of her weight too. We then came home and had a lovely spa. We really havent been using it as much as we should. Its part of my concerted effort to be both more active, but also using all my tools to destress.
Today Stef has school at Lara. Its sad to think she has only 6 weeks left of mainstream school. She has been so lucky that she has had some pretty damned awesome kids with her along the way. We have had no incidences of bullying with her and the kids have included her so well. It is awesome that in the street, they will come and say hello to her...in the shops, at the pool...just everywhere.
I have work today...no dramas there.
Anyways.....ONWARD!!
Yesterday was my first day. I swam over 500m (lost count at 20 laps), waded the pool for 15 minutes and did 6067 steps for the day. Lets just say, today I am a bit sore. Today I got on the elyptical for the first of my 5 minutes today. OMG, it was so hard. I am so unfit!!
I took Jack and Stef with me to the pool. They were both great! Stef hung around in the part of the pool which wasnt having swimming lessons while I did my laps. Jack was practicing his freestyle. I think by taking them 2 times a week, Stef may lose some of her weight too. We then came home and had a lovely spa. We really havent been using it as much as we should. Its part of my concerted effort to be both more active, but also using all my tools to destress.
Today Stef has school at Lara. Its sad to think she has only 6 weeks left of mainstream school. She has been so lucky that she has had some pretty damned awesome kids with her along the way. We have had no incidences of bullying with her and the kids have included her so well. It is awesome that in the street, they will come and say hello to her...in the shops, at the pool...just everywhere.
I have work today...no dramas there.
Anyways.....ONWARD!!
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Can't I become a hippy and live the easy life???
We spent 4 beautiful days in Broome.....just Steve and I. Our first real break for 17 years of autism. It was absolutely wonderful!!
Oh to live a very simple life. I could imagine it.....and I sometimes wonder if that simple sort of life would be better for us all. To have the time to spend with Stef...to teach her the life skills that she needs rather than putting into the hands of people who truly don't understand her or what is really important. I had a dream last night in the 3 hours on the plane. I could imagine just taking everything I could from the government.....sitting on a beach somewhere, maybe making jewellery or food for markets, clothes etc, and just spending the time kicking back, teaching Stef things like cooking and independence and living a very simple life of organic food. After this week, I think maybe it would be better for us than the hectic rat race life we currently lead. Ha, to become a hippy!! I know that if I had the choice in it all, maybe I would just lead that sort of life.
I realise too, that what makes me truly happy are really simple things. We went to a market while we were there.....and I picked up the fresh ingredients for a thai curry.......it was awesome. I went straight back to the unit and made the nicest fish curry that I have ever eaten and I enjoyed putting it together just as much. It made me incredibly happy. Oh to have those fresh ingredients here.....but alas, you just cant get them.
We swam a lot, but not in the Indian Ocean.....I didnt like the thought of swimming with a 4 metre crock which had been seen on the beach that week......took lots of photos of beautiful sunsets over the ocean and basically just chilled. Ate too much crap of course and drank like fish.....but isnt that what holidays are all about.
I had a real tinge of sadness leaving.....I just didnt want it to end ever!
Reality hit when we got home though....2 hours sleep, and I had to have Stef and Jack at the paed by 9am. We did come away with some changes in medication for Stef though, and a more flexible medication schedule for Jack. Hopefully this med will work for Stef and get her bowels going more regularly and that Jack will be better with a 4 hourly dose of ritalin, rather than the longer lasting one. (i think its better for him if he has the meds only when he really needs it rather than giving him a larger dose over a longer period of the day)
Anyways, Back to Reality.......enough of dreaming of a simple life, and step back into the complications of what is not what might be.
Oh to live a very simple life. I could imagine it.....and I sometimes wonder if that simple sort of life would be better for us all. To have the time to spend with Stef...to teach her the life skills that she needs rather than putting into the hands of people who truly don't understand her or what is really important. I had a dream last night in the 3 hours on the plane. I could imagine just taking everything I could from the government.....sitting on a beach somewhere, maybe making jewellery or food for markets, clothes etc, and just spending the time kicking back, teaching Stef things like cooking and independence and living a very simple life of organic food. After this week, I think maybe it would be better for us than the hectic rat race life we currently lead. Ha, to become a hippy!! I know that if I had the choice in it all, maybe I would just lead that sort of life.
I realise too, that what makes me truly happy are really simple things. We went to a market while we were there.....and I picked up the fresh ingredients for a thai curry.......it was awesome. I went straight back to the unit and made the nicest fish curry that I have ever eaten and I enjoyed putting it together just as much. It made me incredibly happy. Oh to have those fresh ingredients here.....but alas, you just cant get them.
We swam a lot, but not in the Indian Ocean.....I didnt like the thought of swimming with a 4 metre crock which had been seen on the beach that week......took lots of photos of beautiful sunsets over the ocean and basically just chilled. Ate too much crap of course and drank like fish.....but isnt that what holidays are all about.
I had a real tinge of sadness leaving.....I just didnt want it to end ever!
Reality hit when we got home though....2 hours sleep, and I had to have Stef and Jack at the paed by 9am. We did come away with some changes in medication for Stef though, and a more flexible medication schedule for Jack. Hopefully this med will work for Stef and get her bowels going more regularly and that Jack will be better with a 4 hourly dose of ritalin, rather than the longer lasting one. (i think its better for him if he has the meds only when he really needs it rather than giving him a larger dose over a longer period of the day)
Anyways, Back to Reality.......enough of dreaming of a simple life, and step back into the complications of what is not what might be.
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