Why is it that at work I can be so damned organised yet in my private life, its all just shambles? I know....its because at work, I have a set amount of time for tasks, a priority list and a plan.
In my private life, there are lots of curve balls, a neverending list of high priority tasks and quite frankly never enough time. I'm slowly but surely removing the external committments....refocussing on the family.
Rainbow club is going to fall by the wayside. I just can't afford the 7 + hours a week it has taken. I leave it behind with a heavy heart as I can't see the current committee stepping up to the plate. The members are all pretty apathetic. Running a raffle was proof enough to me, that a lot of the families just arent prepared to put themselves out, even to sell 10 raffle tickets. Why do I work so hard for their benefit when really they obviously don't care. Its just not worth it any more.
I realise too, that I haven't spent any time in the last 18 months doing the things that I enjoy.....I just havent had the time. My poor sewing machine is covered in crap, dusty and neglected.
There is so much I want to do to help Stef..spending more time on lifeskills, teaching her how to cook, to clean up after herself, and personal hygiene, computer skills and of course speech.
Today being Friday and after last Friday being pure rest, and the committment to have every friday to myself has fallen by the wayside. Today I have to do a Finance committee meeting at the school, and then go to work at the accounting office, the pile of dishes on my sink thanks to the broken dishwasher, a pile of washing a mile high. Today I feel tired...stressed and just a bit depressed.
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