I got up early..very early 4am, don't know why, probably because I crashed at 7.30pm. Ive had a nasty kidney infection and have been pumped full of antibiotics. It's going, but I still feel tired.
Anyway.....on with it.
I love that time just before sunrise......the house is dead quiet and its the only time I really feel that I'm on my own. With 4 kids in tow, I often feel as if I get no solitary time, so I take every opportunity that I can get. Its my time to think.....to plan and to work out what is really happening in my life.
My new job is excellent...Love it. I love that its so cut and dried, that my job is very defined and that there are pretty tight procedures involved...very organised. Its just what I need to keep me sane. I realise that I am very ADHD...in the past, my disorganisation in my mind showed up in so many ways...from the messy house, to the taking on too much trying to please everyone, to the moving on from ideas before they came to fruition because I got bored with them, the unfinished projects and the total chaos. Its the stuff in my life that Im trying like hell to change. I have been reading a lot of books to fathom the best ways that I work and its in very short bursts....15 minutes at a time and with lists so that I don't get sidetracked as easily. My plan for the week is to get rid of unfinished business..I need to send the supermarket files to the accountant.....get them out of my life once and for all. I need to start planning fun ways to relax.......get more creative and maybe even get on the sewing machine a bit. I need to exercise....thats one thing that I have been incredibly slack on so I am working out a deal with a friend who owns a gym to work for her in the office for exchange of training. I need the discipline and the accountability. Most of all, I need to fall into a strong routine. I am getting there....much better than the past, but I still need to stick to it especially writing a lot in my diary, and prioritising much more efficiently.
I realise too, that sometimes I put others way before myself. A friend who has marital difficulties, keeps coming around....I don't have the heart to say piss off, I need my time to work, I just let her come around to cry on the shoulder....last week it was a whole day wasted, the week before was two days. She is coming around this morning, but at least I have an appointment at 11am, so I can give her a coffee at 9 and then make my excuses. I really dont have the energy to deal with other people's problems....after all, I have enough of my own to deal with. How do you say to someone, hey, I know you have problems, but I really need to focus on my own life? To me it sounds very self centred, and Im not like that, but really I dont have the time to devote, nor do I need the negativity.
Stef is doing so well......writing her name much more now. OMG, I never dreamt that we would actually get her to do it.....I know its something we have been trying for so long, but she actually really gets it now. Its like opening a door to the huge possibilities.....all along I have said, she can do things, she just doesnt, and now the schools are actually starting to believe me. The special school especially....they have been just babysitters for too long and really didnt see what this girl is capable of (I think they thought I was lying about what she really does at Lara Ps, and at home). I also must spend more time on getting her to use her speech facilitation program.....Its vital to get her to understand that she has control over some of the choices in her life. Hmm, must find her DS in her messy room today!
Brent is doing great....he is very beligerent at times, but thats expected from the caveman years lol......teenagers have their own way of communicating at times......UGH. But proudly, he is incredibly articulate, puts an argument together really well and is doing so well in most subjects at school. I just need to make sure he hands his work in.
Jack is doing ok, much better now that he has longer lasting ritalin. He goes off on his first camp next Monday and will be great. I wasnt aware of this, but apparently the school has been refusing to take special needs kids on camp...they wouldnt dare with my kids. It was my decision not to send Stef on camp no one elses and she did still go, not overnight. (I wasnt sure of security arrangements to stop her wandering off). Jack will have so much fun and will be fine being away from home so I dont see that the school has much choice.
Melinda is doing ok, she is still disorganised big time (takes after me for that), so I will tidy her room up yet again.....find places for everything. She really doesnt do enough homework at home though.
Anyway, on with the day......so much to do.....ALWAYS!
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