At the moment I am feeling stretched like a rubber band about to break. I really need to get my life back into some sort of order. Even when I want to sleep I just cant, and then fall asleep at 8pm or 9pm. It sucks. So glad I am nearly finished the supermarket stuff and then I need to reset the body clock so that I can sleep more.
The new job is stressful at times, and I really need to concentrate on just it to get all I need to done. Yesterday the computers were out, and it just sucked especially as its end of month and the work is piled high. This morning I got up at 4to get some of the crap ready for end of month. Its pretty full on, probably more so than any job I have had before, but the boss is good, and I am beginning to understand everything. Its kindof scary when he says...right now, you are 2IC..the reigns of the company are in your hands and I need you to steer the ship. I really need to step out of my comfort zone and communicate a hell of a lot more with him and demand more of those bloody agents. They can be so slack, especially chasing deposits. grr.
Yesterday I forgot to tell Marie that Brent wasnt at school and so Jack would need to be picked up. Poor kid sat in the office at school until 4.30. I also didnt have her mobile number in my phone to call her to tell her. Mummy stuffed up bad. Jack was ok with it though and the girls in the office were so good about it. Sometimes I feel as if I am such a bad mother. But really I have to forgive myself a little....my plate is pretty damned full and my cup is pretty damned empty.
Today I pray for the strength to live up to my committments, to give my all and to get shitloads done.
I want my life back.
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