I really must get to queensland more

Yesterday I went to a funeral, it wasnt sad, Gordon had a long and happy life and it was his time to go. It was so lovely to catch up to my beautiful ex sister in law, my beautiful nieces and their little families. I miss Lyn. I look back at my youth, and she was a rock for me. I spent so much time at their home and spent so much time with my darling nieces. Being the youngest of 5 kids, by the time I came along, my parents were working a lot, and they didnt seem to have a lot of time or inclination to spend their time with me. Im not begrudging that, now I understand that they were my age now bringing up a 15 year old, having been through all that 10 years before. The generation gap seemed so much larger than it is with my kids....I guess I am just a younger person inside. My mum was seriously into bowling at my age..they spent so much time at the bowling club with all the oldies, so really at 46, my mum was doing stuff that 65 year olds were doing. Lyn was really my connection to a mother figure, but a so much younger one. In bringing up my kids I often thought of Lyn..making sure the babies had noise, never sleeping with them, making my own room a sanctuary for myself,Loving my kids always, but understanding that sometimes I dint like them as much, giving my kids the room to make their own minds up about right and wrong (with guidance of course). The one thing I did learn from Lyn is that it was so right to be an affectionate mother....that kids need cuddles and kisses. Its something that my mum and my grandmother before that lacked...the display of affection. Im so glad I broke that chain with my kids....hugs and kisses and I love yous were often. My kids never doubt my love for them...So many of the parenting skills I have now were learnt from Lyn. It was so nice to sit down on the floor and play with my beautiful great nieces and nephews. I loved getting to know their little personalities, all very different from each other. I remember yesterday lyn walking in and looking at me playing with the babies on the floor, and saying, Janine's creche...and thats where she expected me to be..she knows me well. I still miss the girls heaps...they were a big part of my life. I wish I lived closer so I could be the crazy aunt for their kids. A special aunt that loves them all so much. I often wish that my kids had that sort of aunt.....Steph especially, an aunt that knows her and loves her just the way she is...if wishes were fishes hey. Well, on with my day....slept in this morning, so no gym until this afternoon. Work today, and gym.....steve is away again, so sole parenting again...not that its a huge thing any more, the kids are so used to it now.